Perhaps you do a lot of commuting by air. Perhaps you enjoy flying out-of-state for the holidays. Or perhaps you're a terrorist with a bomb strapped to your cock. Well, today, all of you will have to face the TSA's new high-tech body-scanning, which shows the entire surface of the scanee's skin.
As shown in this highly-shocking photograph to our left, this deadly weapon in the Global Effort To Combat Extremism will reveal what you look like naked to airport security employees, who we can all agree are pervs, who voted overwhelmingly to have this scanner installed, because they weren't getting enough action in their personal lives.
Well, I personally think this is great. You may feel violated now, but just think how much better you'll feel when a foreign-looking man with chemicals in his pants is apprehended by the authorities. All those times spent being gazed at lustfully by the TSA's finest will not have been in vain, and you can rest easy at night that they're not laughing at how out-of-shape you are, and how your body shape doesn't compliment your private parts at all. After all, if the Good Lord didn't want us to be seen naked, he wouldn't have made Adam and Eve with clothes already on.
Opponents to these new security measures say it's not necessary, because after all, is a hot blonde girl really going to bomb a plane? I think we all know the answer to that: yes. Another question posed is: "If a 9-year-old girl is scared to go through the body scan, are they going to make her go through it? Is a 9-year-old even considered a threat?" and again, I say that I sincerely hope that they put all children through full body scans, because have you seen that jungle-gym equipment being used in Al-Qaeda recruitment videos? I'm sure that attracted some kids to the cause.
Some Celebrities have even criticized the new scanner, such as rapper 50 Cent, who did not want them to scan to "see his G-unit", adding "I did not say I would let them come into the candy shop."
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