Wartune: You Deserve An Orgy!

Hey you. Yes, you. Good job today. I think you deserve an orgy today. It really doesn't matter if you play Wartune, or even bother to find out what it is, the point is: you deserve an orgy today. It could be an orgy with a lot of beautiful women, but then again, I don't know. It could be older women, or even men. It could be interracial. There may be bondage involved, and maybe even a human sacrifice, which could be you, but it could also be someone else. They kind of just pick a random person in the room, so it's always smart to take a bathroom break right before they pick out which person gets their throat cut on the alter of Aphrodite, the goddess of sex, so that she will smell the blood and bless the orgy with her satanic magic. Who knows? I sure don't. The point is, Wartune is an MMO and city-building game mixed, and also, you deserve an orgy today. If anyone tells me you DON'T deserve an orgy, they are sadly mistaken.

OMG WTF @ TWITTER & FACEBOOK

Step aside, Selena Gomez. Rizzle Kicks has decreed that Carly Rae Jepsen should "totally" begin a formal relationship with prepubescent popstar, Justin Bitchface Bieber. This proclamation came as a pleasant surprise to readers of the popular time-wasting website, Twitter.com. Rizzle Kicks also expressed what observers described as a "gleeful ambiance" and "a spectacle of elation" when he spoke about his recommendation to the young popstars, adding, "OMG OMG LOLOLOLOLOL XXXXXXXXXX", but ended by issuing a formal apology to Selena Gomez, as she would be rendered boyfriendless if Justin Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen negotiated a successful relationship in being.

I got this from my actual Facebook account. Relationships are difficult. Sometimes, despite our best attempts at romance, our consciousnesses clash with each other, and when these conflicts become unsolvable, shit hits the fan. So, someone I know went from being in a relationship to "Single" within a matter of seconds, and a few clicks of the mouse. A concerned friend asked what happened, to which the person I know replied, "It's over."

Well, duh.

DUH.

DUH.

Then again, you can't just ask someone a personal question like that and expect them to tell the truth and be like "He wanted to have sex with me through my anus and I absolutely refused to let that happen, and also, we hated each other."

Other world news: Donald Trump calls for Barack Obama to "kiss his ass" - New perfume released that increases the sex appeal of the person wearing it - Study reveals that women who swallow large amounts of semen have increased health benefits - Study was conducted by very lucky male scientists, "It was tough having women giving me oral sex all day, but it's a sacrifice I was willing to make for science." says Dr. P. Jensen - Genocide in Syria MILLIONS DEAD, DEAD BODIES LINE THE STREETS FOR MILES - Experts agree that 'camel toe' is sexy, but only on attractive women.