Interlude: The Tiny Island

Sometimes, people ask me where I get my ideas. I wish I could just say "Drugs, lots of drugs." but that would a big fat lie, and I like to keep my lies lean and thin. In reality, it's a much more complex series of neuron firings that science has yet to explain, but don't worry, they can put an ear on a mouse, so you know we're close.

Right now though, my brain is failing me. I'm very angry with it. Like, if it came in my room and wanted to lecture me about throwing my clothes all over my room, I'd lose it and start cussing it out. I may throw a chair, but I'm not sure. That may taking it too far, and this isn't the Jerry Springer show, it's irl. Also, there are other factors to consider, such as the possibility of the chair breaking, and if it breaks, then I've just lost a perfectly good chair, and will have to sit on the floor, which is full of spiders and lizards and shit.

Writer's Block is never good to have, especially when having an Official Celebrity Gossip Blog, and writing a 50,000-word novel for November, but I feel the best way to work through Writer's Block is to just be honest and say "Hey, I have Writer's Block. Sorry my writing has sucked so much lately!" rather than blame The Previous Administration for my shortcomings. Sure, I could be mad at everyone else, and go "Why the hell haven't you inspired me lately?" and as a matter of fact, why not?

I haven't started my novel at all. I have a few ideas, like one where a pizza delivery guy finds a unicorn, and it changes his life as he tries to hide it from The Government, who want to take it to a zoo. However, hiding a unicorn isn't easy, especially when your apartment complex has a "no pets" rule, so he also has to hide it from his landlord. Admittedly, this idea probably isn't 50,000-words long, so maybe instead, I could go in a completely different directions, taking on the premise of a 1950s-era story set during the Cold War, where an unhappy citizen tries to "flee the oppression of the West" and get into Communist Germany, but getting past the Berlin Wall and into Socialist territory proves more difficult than he first anticipated. However, this idea has one huge flaw: He'd just dig a tunnel, and so that would take up approximately one page.

So, it'll be on the shelf for now. And November is almost half-way done. This could get messy. I just need to get some inspiration, but it's like I'm stuck on a tiny island.