It's over. America's most beloved couple, Kristen Stewart and Robert Patterson, both co-stars in the hit comedy Twilight, broke up. According to anonymous sources, they really didn't care for each other to begin with, and Kristen found some tramp's panties in Robert's dressing room. Both were reluctant to speak out, with Robert saying, quote, "I don't think everyone needs to know what happens at every moment in our private lives. Suffice to say, relationships are difficult, and sometimes, they just don't work out. I apologize to no one because I'm not really sorry."
Kristen was even more reticent, only sighing and frowning before finally saying, "He thought Wookiees came from Endor, but they come from Kashyyyk. Ewoks come from Endor. I know they're both furry, but they're not the same thing. Also, he wanted to knife-fuck me, and I draw the line at being maimed during sex."
Fans across the nation were broken-hearted, but sources say that there is a high possibility that they will "get over it".
