Wartune: JOIN HER IN BED! SLEEP WITH HER NOW!

I decided to try my hand at creating a Wartune advertisement. I took this original Wartune ad, which reads "Join me in battle", and crossed out "battle". I felt like the word "battle" evokes too many thoughts of carnage, and takes the mind away from her beautiful, beautiful breasts. I changed the keyword to "Bed", which seems much more appropriate, especially since it is completely misleading about the content of the game. The subtext reads "Sleep with her now!" because I felt it would help lots of sex-deprived nerds to click on the button and get started on playing Wartune. Unfortunately, nerds are not stupid, but they are horny, so this strategy works perfectly. Creators of Wartune, I sincerely hope you consider my advertisement design, and implement it in your advertising. I will not ask for any money for coming up with this concept, I just want to see my creation to be seen by the world, that's all. 

My credentials:

- I am a marketing genius. This one time, I opened a lemonade stand, and got my parents to front the cash for building the business, then I kept all the profits, which I received quarterly (GET IT????), then when the business went under, I just dumped the stand into a dumpster and got away with all the money, and it was 100% legal.

- I am in college. I did not graduate yet, although you'd think by now I'd be done. This is not important. I could forge a college degree and award it to a chicken. Would you hire that chicken? Certainly, but remember, he would just walk in as a Vice-President and be all cocky. I, on the other hand, would walk in as a janitor. Not just any janitor. I would clean the business up from the ground up. 

- I am really super-smart. My brain is immense and stores much data. This means that I am like that kid in the movie 21, where he counts the cards and makes a ton of money. I'm like fucking Will Hunting.

In conclusion, if you did not hire me to the Wartune marketing staff after reading all of this, you will have made a colossal error in judgment, and are horrendous business people. If you do, however, hire me, you will be wiser than all of King Solomon's gold!

Wartune: She Has All The Excitement You Need!

The other day, I was thinking about trying out Wartune, but then an ad popped up that told me that it wasn't worth it. It was so odd, it was like seeing an ad for Macaroni And Cheese and then a narrator saying, "Don't buy our product. It tastes terrible, and is very unhealthy! May we suggest a substitute meal instead, such as a broiled chicken breast with a sweet potato?"

So, here's the thing - Wartune is telling me that she has all the excitement I need, therefore, I do not need to indulge in video games. I just need to find an extremely fit girl with black hair that flows around as she walks, C-cup boobs, and a dislike for large amounts of clothing. Really, once I have that, I'll have all the excitement I need! Of course, people may still be tempted to play Wartune instead. These people are people who are not attracted to females. Therefore, by way of reasoning, Wartune only wants to attract homosexual nerds who love city-building RPGs for some reason that I can only logically deduce is part of some secret plot to end the world next month. If so, their plan is already too far advanced for us to do anything to stop it - we are all dead.