This week's addition introduces Last Comic Standing champion and Comedy Central Presents alumni Iliza Shlesinger, whose name I always I misspell before hitting the delete key several times to correct myself. It's pretty bad, because I hate when people misspell my last name, which is also a doozy to those who have difficultly with last names more difficult than "Smith". But I digress (whatever that means).
She is one of my favorite comedians, mostly because of her looks, which are top-notch. As far as other facts about her go, she's blonde... I don't know if it's natural or if she's just fakin' it, and she appears to be between 18-39 years old. I'm 90% sure she's an American citizen and was not born in Kenya, and is probably not part of a secret illuminati plot, but I have been wrong before. I had this co-worker at Auntie Anne's, a soft-pretzel stand in the mall, and he just seemed like this ordinary guy who couldn't make change very well, but it turns out he was part of a secret illuminati plot. Whodathunkit.
If I could give Iliza any advice, it would be: You can't do lunges as well as me.
I don't think Iliza and I would be compatible as a couple because, during her act, she did these super-deep lunges. Normally, you wouldn't think that'd be issue, except that I also do super-deep lunges, and I think we'd be competing to see who can do the deepest lunges, and it'd get really out of hand and we'd fight all the time. Just last night, I was doing these insane lunges and was like "These are way deeper than Iliza's." but in the back of my mind, I was like wondering how deep Iliza's lunges had gotten since the Comedy Central show and I knew I had to train harder. God, where does one get the nerve to work their freakish athleticism into their act?
<3 balls
ReplyDelete