It's 2010, a more progressive year (Much to Glenn Beck's horror) and Rogue films delivers My Soul To Take, a movie that dares to ask that question that we've all been thinking for years: "If something is evil enough, can it come back to life?"
Well, duh. This is why doctors shock people back to life with 240 volts of pure evil when resuscitating their hearts.
Here is the trailer:
Note: You may notice it's too large to fit into my blog. I refuse to do anything about that.
It starts off with Hagrid killing Justin Bieber in the middle of the night and throwing him off a bridge, which turns out to simply be just a really good dream. The primary character, who is probably played by Aaron Carter or someone, explains to us that his hometown is known for maple syrup, competitive breakdance, and a brutal serial killer. A blonde girl is shown, because the movie needs some underaged jail-bait eye candy. The title character explains that the Unibomber or whatever killed 7 people in that town and died the same day that 7 of the kids were born, which is a pretty eerie coincidence that their 14 parents were all copulating exactly 9 months before that exact day... on the day Kennedy was assassinated!? DUN DUN DUN.
More stuff happens, and the gothy chick insinuates that the title character is gay or something, but he denies being gay, and all this leads to an epic knife-fight final battle with Hagrid at the end of the movie, which also causes an ambulance to flip while driving at a very high speed.
A sure winner, I give it like 39 stars.
It's part of the conspiracy.
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