The Fame Monster Has Me

Dearest Diary,

I'm sorry I haven't written on you in awhile, and I know how turned on you get from the feeling of cold ink pouring out all over your pages, getting you all dirty. I know all I wrote this week was the letter "y", which is probably not sufficient for an official celebz gossip blog, covering the glamorous and amorous lifestyles of the hottest starz, like Lauren Hill and Gilbert Gottfried. However, I've been very depressed, and as a result, I put on some black eye-liner, covered one eye with black bangs and wore tight jeans while cutting my wrists while listening to Hawthorne Heights. It was very very sad, but I feel a little bit better now after binging on brownies and listening to lots of death metal. I also did some kickboxing to let my emotions out, because there's no better way to deal with anger than to train your brain to start punching when it's upset.

Then, I had a thought: if fish cried, would anyone know?

So I'm doing this for you, fish, because I know that you're potentially crying every day, just no one gets to see it because you're surrounded by water.