So, in other words, no juicy celebz gossipings, no hot girl of the week, no joy and peace to the world. During this difficult time, I spent the nights lying wide awake, wondering how the hell my life had spiraled into such a non-blogging state. During the days, I kept myself mildly entertained by playing UFC: Undisputed while drinking soy milk, blasting Lady GaGa music and cursing the sky.
So, had I been able to blog, I would've blown the roof off of some hot Lauren Conrad gossip that no one knows about, not even that shining golden bastion of pure knowledge, TMZ. It was so juicy that if this gossip were in the form of an orange, and you bit into it, juice would go flying all over your face. Juice would fly into your dog's face, and all over a baby, and all over the walls, and just generally everywhere. But it's too late. It was time-sensitive material, so I guess I can't do that.
I was also going to do a scathing hit-job story on Olivia Munn, but I decided not to, because I am very very afraid of the powers that back her. They could snap me over their knee like a really long graham cracker with ease.
The hot girl of the week was going to be... I don't know... Jessica Alba or something. I don't know nor care, because I wasn't able to do it, and this makes me want put on some Bullet For My Valentine and just start the cutting. Maybe I would've made it Olivia Munn, just to make up for all the nasty things I almost said about her, but didn't, so it doesn't count, right?
Okay, peace, nerds.
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