"I hear someone is has been dirty."
Today, once again, is All Hallow's Day, on which the Catholic Church commemorates those who have received beatific vision in Heaven by passing out candy to children dressing up as superheroes, clowns, cowboys, and various fictional characters. Occasionally, the children dress as factual characters, such as Flavor Flav, but that's quite rare that you find children and parents who collaborate to get that creative, WHICH IS WHY I HATE MY PARENTS UGH!
It's also a day for the older crowd to dress up, and by older, I don't mean you, Grandma. Get over yourself Grandma. I'm not always talking about you. I'm talking about girls and boys who are older than 12, but more specifically, girls and boys who are older than 18, but even more specifically, just the girls who are older than 18, but younger than 30.
The girls tend to go as one of the following:
- French Maid
- Sailor Scout
- Naughty Kitty
- Naughty Librarian
- Sexy Cactus Girl
- Bikini Girl With Machine Gun
- Sex Robot
I appreciate all of these. I, of course, would be more than happy to give these girls who put such thought into their costume lots and lots of candy, and I don't necessarily mean a sick 50-Centesque metaphor, but I can mean that if they want it to pertain to that meaning, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN lololololololololololololol. Now, I also understand that some of the costumes may confuse you if you've never heard of them before, such as "Sexy Cactus Girl". Let me tell you, you do not want to fondle a girl in that costume.
"Sex Robot" isn't necessarily a costume, but it's a more economical approach to Halloween dress-up, in which the person becomes their own costume. Girls who go as "sex robot" just make a lot of sudden, mechanical jerky motions and go "Beep beep boop, I am a robot. How may I please you?" in a monotone voice, reminiscent of the slow lumbering aluminum-foil bots of 50s sci-fi cinema.
Whatever you may go as, remember, don't get raped!
Happy Halloween.
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