My sources tell me that Lindsay Lohan has been spotted hangin' out again with Sam Ronson, Lesbo DJ Extraordinaire. As you probably know, they had a full-on lesbian relationship, complete with combat boots and power tools, which is totally fine, because we all know that gays are just born that way, and it's not a choice. Kind of... I mean, Lindsay Lohan dated boys for a long while, and then she suddenly became a lesbian with Sam Ronson, so apparently, you can choose to be gay?
Sam Ronson (left) may appear to be a very pleasant person by her evil scowl, but believe me, she is no angel! Remember, all angels are men, so that would be impossible. Also, she works for clubs. Something you should know about clubs is that they go under the guise of "a place where music is played really loud so people can dance", but in reality, it's a place to get super-drunk, super-wasted and then find someone to bring back to your apartment for some hot hot sexing. Maybe two people. It is a well-known fact, though, that all those people who go there have AIDS.
So, if we EVER want to see Herbie The Lovebug 2: Dance To The Beetle, then we have to keep Lindsay free of AIDS and extacy!
Maybe we can hook her up with a very nice, well-mannered lesbian, who likes to stay home and knit.
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