I hate the Glee version of every song.

There are many things I love in this world: Cookies, Armadillo meat, Shutting crying babies up by stuffing their mouths with an extra-large cabbage, and of course, celebrities. However, there are some things that I simply cannot abide by, such as screaming babies. Why do babies scream anyhow? Everything in their bodies are underdeveloped, like their muscles, bones, internal organs, and of course, brain power (which is why they just jabber like morons and shit their pants) but apparently, they have fully-developed super-powerful lungs right away. That makes no sense. That's the opposite of how evolution is supposed to work. Creatures are supposed to evolve so that they can survive, but if a baby is screaming, a cheetah is going to hear the screams and then eat the baby.

Like most people who aren't sociopaths building bombs in their log cabins, I enjoy music. Also like most people, I am an elitist when it comes to my music. If there is a piece of music which does not abide by my imaginary rules of how music should be, it makes me extremely angry, and I usually direct this anger at people and animals. So if someone makes a cover of a song I like, and I don't feel like that particular person is "allowed" to do the said cover, I will bring down the hammer of Thor on them.

The hit show Glee covers many songs, and I despise them all. How dare they. How. Dare. They. Their covers are so despicable to my ears that it's making me deliver sentences that are just one word long, which doesn't even make any sense. That's how mad I am. Glee has many fans, which consist of:

- fangurlz

- Gays

This is hair-rippingly outrageous. Gays? Fangurlz? Disgusting!

Therefore, I have drafted this response to Glee, which I hope the creators will read, because I know they spend a lot of time reading random blogs on the internet:

Dear Glee,

Quit being douchetards. Stop ruining ma songs. You have NO RIGHT. HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU. I challenge you to a duel. 20 paces, 2 pistols, you and me. What? Scared? You should be, BITCH. Not so gleeful now, are ya? PEACE

P.S. - I also have some of your mail. I think it's just junk mail, but it came my mailbox by mistake, so if you want to come by and pick it up sometime, that's fine.