What is this sorcery?

It's that time of year again: The Holidays, and yes, even the Jewish ones.

Ah, the most magical time of year, and of course, I mean black magic. Black Friday rolled around, and people were slaughtered in the aisles, and old people were trampled so quickly that they couldn't even hit their LifeAlert monitor buttons before being pulverized (I mean they literally were turned into dust) by the hordes of Mongol-like bargain hunters on a mission from God to acquire slightly less-expensive items for their angry ungrateful loved ones. After the dust (from the old people?) settled, Cyber Monday rolled around, and people cybered like crazy all over the place, even at public library computers; just sitting there with their undies around their ankles rubbing one out as you search for Upton Sinclair's The Jungle for your assignment.

Naturally, there is that annual totally necessary controversy of deciding whether or not we call this "Christmas time" or "The Holiday Season", because nostalgia-crazed misguided conservatives, who don't realize Christmas is a pagan festival of death celebrated by tree-spirit worshiping Visigoths, decide to show their "holiday cheer" and intent for spreading "peace on earth and goodwill towards men" by beefing with pussy-foot liberal pansies, who, in their zeal to manifest their false belief that they're "open-minded" schmucks who "embrace a diversity of cultures", freak the hell out when other people don't acknowledge Kwanzaa, a holiday invented by a black supremist.

Seriously, if didn't I care about people sensibilities, I wouldn't say "Merry Christmas" or anything to begin with, so if some weirdo wants to go "I don't celebrate Christmas" in an ultra-pissy voice, then so be it. I'm not going to be freaked out and traumatized so badly that I obsess in front of a chalkboard, writing down tons of alternative greetings so that I never have to feel bad in public again. Furthermore, I'm not going to be a dick and try to lobby City Hall to take down it's Christmas Tree and take a massive dump on everyone else's fun just because of it. I might as well go up to a kid and say "Yo, Christmas is canceled."

At least I always let children know that Santa is a lie.

There are only two years left before the End Of Days. Niburu is coming.