Monday, May 6, 2013

Wartune: Once You're Inside, Your Friends Won't Be Seeing Much of You!


That's right. Wartune was rated by the Entertainment Software Rating Board as Adult for 18+ only. Sorry, kids, I know you were looking forward to playing a pay-to-even-move-your-bowels game that combines the excitement of city-building and rpg-style turn-based battles (think Cloud Strife playing SimCity 9000) but it's now off-limits, so go home and watch your Adventure Time instead. I mean, look at that photo; a woman with horns is holding a human skull and wearing a very revealing leather bikini thing. It's really the ultimate fantasy of any sane, warm-blood human male: sticking your dick into an evil force that seeks only blood and destruction, one that most likely has vagina dentata.

I can't see what's not appealing about this game now. No wonder my friends won't be seeing much of me after playing this game, because I'll be fucking demon-women 24/7 and won't have time to talk about college applications, community volunteering programs, cars, the latest trends in astrophysics, and of course, the motherfucking weather, with my former "friends". I can't wait to start playing this shit. However, I was curious as to why it got the "A" rating, so I decided to look it up and


Oh right, I forgot rule #1 of Wartune ads: everything is bullshit and the game is made of retard.

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