It's that time, folks. Time for the world to end. I've been saying this for years, and now it's finally here, Earth's final battle with Nibiru, aka Planet X, aka Tiamat, aka Nemesis, aka HR Paperstacks. The Zeta Lizardmen of Nibiru will no doubt overwhelm the Earth's defenses within a matter of hours, reducing our society to ruins, and wreaking havoc on our environment. Jeff Goldblum warned us this would happen, but now it's too late, and I'll never get to see Emma Stone's new sex tape, jam with One Direction, slap Justin Bieber across the face, or interview Lady GaGa.
Now you may be asking yourself: por que?
Here's the truth:
Here's the truth:
There are actually 12 planets. The Sun is the first planet, even though it's a star, and all the other planets are grains of sand compared to the sun. Our Moon (Luna) is also a planet. Betcha didn't know that, did ya? Let's pretend moons like Titan, Callisto, Ganymede, Io, Europa and Triton don't exist for a minute, because otherwise, that would completely invalidate Luna as a planet. Then of course, we have the outer planets - Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus (tee hee), Neptune, Pluto, Eris, and finally Nibiru. Nevermind that Pluto is smaller than many of the moons in the Solar System, it's a planet, dammit. The reason no one has ever seen Nibiru is because the Lizardmen have cloaked the planet, rendering it invisible to the naked telescope. Once the planets align, Nibiru will also crash into the Earth, I think. Whatever, we're just doomed, okay?
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