HOT GIRL OF THE WEEK: BOXXY

 This is going to be the worst best thing I've ever done, period.

In an increasingly inconsistent and poorly-planned manner, Hot Girl of Ze Week marches on, and I present to you one of my favorite hot girls: Catie "Boxxy" Wayne. She catapulted to fame after some random person posted in the "you rage, you lose" thread, in which you have to subject yourself to various annoyances without getting angry for the arbitrary pride of winning. You don't even get a cheap plastic trophy for it. Well, as it so happens, people actually responded positively, and MoldyLunchBoxx's vids caused World War 3. China declared war and mobilized 20,000,000 troops, along with 5,000 vehicles, 500 warships, and deployed 1,200 nuclear-tipped ICBMs. After the destruction was over, Boxxy died, but then came back to life and revealed that the spastic alter-ego "Boxxy" was a ruse, leading us all to axe ourselfs, "Was it all part of a plot????"

Now, here's what I like about Boxxy - she's utterly insane, kind of like Overly-Attached Girlfriend, who I also find hot for the same reason. I want the kind of girl who will chop my penis off my sleep and throw it on the side of the road because she looked at my cellphone and saw a girl named "Christine" in my contacts. Now, whatever you may think of Boxxy, whether good or bad, one thing is clear: Even if the 'character' is a facade, to produce such a character, you need to have an element of that character's being in your imagination, which puts them deep in your consciousness. This leads to my hypothesis that giraffes should sprout wings and fly away to Mars, and also that Boxxy might actually be crazy irl, and could possibly be capable of cutting someone's cock off.

If I could give one piece of advice to Boxxy, it would be: black shirt, black room, black hair, black eye-liner AROUND the eyes. Stick to the formula. Also, don't listen to Svetlana, she is a bitch and her cat is a bitch.

Unfortunately, I don't think Boxxy and I are incapable as a couple, because anyone who marries Boxxy will be targeted for assassination by an elite team of international death-ninjas, most of whom are Asian and can fly. If death-ninjas attacked, I would only be able to kill 7 out of 10 ninjas before being slain; seven is my limit to anti-ninja combat, I'm working on increasing that number by doing 5,000 crunches a day and eating nothing but fresh cucumbers for a month. The ninjas, of course, would employed by a 4chan.org's largest division, The Newfags. Within The Newfag order, there is a subdivision of fags known as The Boxxyfags, who defend their 'queen' to death, and for me to violate her with my penis would break their strict code of Boxxy-Purity. There are more Boxxyfags than Smith clones. There number is equal to exactly infinity plus five. That means I couldn't possibly beat them all off. I would just spend all my beating them off; just beating off tons and tons of horny, angry men, so yeah, I think for this reason, Boxxy might not be ideal for me as a potential girlfriend. Bye, Addy!