Mitt Romney is running for President. If he wins, he has promised to set everyone on fire, put a sickle to all of our crops, and sell the United States of America to Albania for money that he will use for meth. But we don't discuss politics here. Well, not normally. We do, however, discuss politicians. The problem with politicians is that they are usually very unsexy and boring. Occasionally, politicians say crazy things that make you question their very sanity, or use their power to seduce and have sex with many, many women that aren't their wife.
In this case, something very special happened. This little girl, as seen above, got a good look into the dark pit of Mitt Romney's asshole, and it was glorious. It's heavenly radiance shown brighter than the sun, but the golden rays of love and goodness irradiating out of his rectum were only the beginning. The Massachusetts Governor's anus was filled with unicorns - real unicorns! There were little men making candy and baking cookies, and handing out Hello Kitty back-packs for FREE. Mitt Romney was delighted to let all the children get a look into that beautiful portal. The little girl said of the incident, "I was like 'oh my god! that's Mitt Romney's butthole! And like, I saw a pegasus-horse flying in there, and golden fairies playing beautiful music on cellos in a grassy meadow filled with butterflies. I was just filled with this feeling of peace, and like, joy. It was just peace and joy and I want to crawl in there and live in there forever!"
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