While I was at the Oscars, Kate Moss pulled me into a limo and what happened in there, we shall never speak of. More importantly, I had to stay updated with all the latest tweets and twits about all of that Oscars-shit. During the beautiful star-studded ceremony, the young Quvenzhane Wallis, who won many, many awards for Beasts of the Southern Wild, won yet another award.
Naturally, the satirical newspaper, The Onion, was jealous and embittered over a young black girl winning, and decided to take her down. "Our mission was to utterly crush her." A source inside The Onion reported, "We wanted to obliterate every fiber of her soul." and around 4:20 p.m. last Thursday, The Onion tweeted:
"Everyone else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a cunt, right?"
The evil executives at The Onion were hoping that this tweet would destroy Wallis' career by turning middle-America against the young star. As our source explained, "They wanted her gone. Most people think our newspaper is satirical but... but it's not. It's a hitman organization. It's a butchering slab. Our objectives at The Onion are clear: destroy, ruin careers, kill, steal, destroy, mayhem, anarchy, chaos.[sic]"
Obviously, The Onion's well-prepared attack campaign against Wallis was unsuccessful, with many Americans standing up for their beliefs and taking a stance against bad words. Julie Brown, a mother of two children, agreed to be interviewed at random, and said "When you start using this kind of language to degrade children, that ain't right. That ain't right. The Onion should be ashamed of themselves for trying to get a laugh at the expense of children." We at JCG agree; this abhorrent, calculated and deliberate smear campaign by the sick and depraved minds behind The Onion (probably all creepy child molesters) should be denounced by every apple-pie-eating, god-fearing, red-blooded American.
Wallis released a statement to The Onion, saying, "Fuck all of y'all. I got an Oscar that you wish you could shove up your nasty asses."
Everyone
else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a
c--t, right? - See more at:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/02/25/the-onion-tweets-that-quvenzhan-wallis-is-a-cunt.html#sthash.LrnwEocp.dpuf
Everyone
else seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a
c--t, right? - See more at:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/02/25/the-onion-tweets-that-quvenzhan-wallis-is-a-cunt.html#sthash.LrnwEocp.dpuf
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