Bill Murray Caught In Time Loop

Earlier today, veteran actor Bill Murray, who has starred in many critically-acclaimed films, became caught in a "time-loop", a re-occurring day that simply will not pass until you've lived it correctly. Scientists are unable to pinpoint a cause for this phenomenon, but physicists at the University of Berkeley have theorized that Quantum Mechanics may play some roll. Dr. Mahib Kasthurirangan, a specialist in theoretical particle physics explained, "What Mr. Murray experienced earlier today is what we might call a time-loop, but more accurately, a time-space-loop, since space and time are intertwined. This is what we call a 'Quantum liability', where the particle acceleration rate slows to where it is nearly stopped, which is non-perceptable to any human orifices, but drops the probability of say, a single nanosecond passing, to absolute zero, ergo, space and matter stay in place, but the human mind perceives this as a repeating day many times over in space of a fraction of a second until the mind 'resolves' the crisis, which can have a huge impact on the psyche of the subject, sometimes altering their entire personalities. This has been known at times to even happen when someone is struck by lightning, and it is possible that such a mechanism could be triggered by highly-charged electrodes, and in some cases, has been known to cause humans and nearby dogs to 'switch bodies'."

Mr. Murray appears to be in good health and spirits, saying "I feel great. I really do. I've spent a lot of time stuck on this day happening over and over again, and I'm going to kind of miss it." Doctors have been reluctant to release Mr. Murray from his padded cell still, citing that Murray's recent incident has driven him into a 'spiral of madness' where he has yelled out in an unknown language and has attempted to smear feces on himself and the room he was housed in. Murray denies any kind of mental incapacity, saying "I'm just fine, really. These guys really don't know how to take a joke. I'm the kind of guy who likes to have fun sometimes and if people get it, great, but if they don't, don't lock me up for it, sheesh."