Charlie Is Dead; Kate Still Alive

Yes.

Charlie Sheen's character, "Charlie" died and his ashes were vacuumed up by a hoover vacuum. Much to my dismay, he is still alive in real life. That may sound really incredibly cruel, but I have an excellent reason for being vindictive about his very existence: I am really jealous of him. I wish I could wake up in the morning and go on a show where I play a character exactly like myself with the same name as myself. Well, actually, he doesn't do that anymore, as of today. Kind of a bummer, actually. It's kind of like a great rival of mine has fallen before he even knew I was attempting to rival him. Now the rivalry is in limbo thanks to Charlie Sheen dying on his show which is exactly like... OMG IS HE GOING TO DIE IN REAL LIFE?

Coincidentally,















Kate Gosselin has announced that her hit show, Jon and Kate plus Eight, will be discontinued. That show really went downhill when the writers decided to kill off Jon, and then bring him back to life miraculously in the next season. I was like "Wait, he definitely died. We saw his dead body at the end of last season. This is stupid." and he just waltz onto the screen and goes "I'm alive, Kate." like it's no big deal. Well, it is a big deal. I don't know what Kate is going to do next, but for everyone who says she has a smoking body, consider this: imagine what her vagina looks like after pumping out eight children. Having sex with her is probably jumping onto a tire swing while being completely nude. What will the neighbors think?

As for the eight, there is no word yet whether or not anyone cares about them.