After approximately 34 years of holy matrimony (and mattress moaning - OHHHH!!!!) Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith ARE getting a divorce. As a matter of fact, they released this statement:
"Although we are reluctant to respond to these types of press reports, the rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together, and our marriage is intact."
"Our marriage is intact" should always be followed by "...and we love each other very much, yo." but that statement was omitted. Also, curiously, the statement "...and we are not considering divorce." was also not present. Also, the statement "...go Lakers!" was absent as well. This can only mean one thing: a big-ass Hollywood divorce is going down and Jada Pinkett is going to have to move to China to work in a factory, because obviously, they don't have enough people over there. Then Jaden will do all the stuff he did in the new Karate Kid movie for real, then come back to America and beat the crap out of that dickhead Marc Anthony, who broke up the greatest Hollywood romance in history: Bennifer. GODDAMN YOU, MARC ANTHONY, YOU DESERVE TO GET HIT BY ONE OF THOSE TINY ELECTRIC CARS AND SUFFER A BROKEN TIBIA. WHY, GOD, WHY!? IT HURTS SO GOOD.
To make a long story short, Marc Anthony works on Jada's hit TV show... uhm... whatever it's called... and they decided to get drunk and do some sex. When Will found out, he got so mad that he single-handedly destroyed an alien civilization. Soon, the marriage was in turmoil. And that's the story all about how his life got turned upside-down.
I don't even care that JLo and Marc got divorced. She broke Ben's heart, and in a way, she broke America's heart. When Spencer and Heidi got divorced, I was like "Uh, saw that one coming." and I can't even begin to tell you how inevitable it is that Prince William is going to divorce Kate Middleton once he realizes that she tricked him into marrying her so that she could steal his gold and run off to South America.
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