Oh, lulz, what hath ye wrought?
Today, I was horrified when I tried to go the website known as Encyclopediadramatica.com, and was redirected to some random vomit-inducing version that wallows in the manure of political correctness. When did we come to the stipulation that being off-the-wall offensive and unreadable was no longer going to be supported? When did ED go from being absolutely decadent to absolutely decedent?
I wish I could produce a touching montage of all the moments ED and I shared throughout the years, because yes, while growing out my neckbeard and sitting in my mom's basement, growing jabba-like on hot pockets, in between bouts of completely unprovoked trolling on poor innocent souls, I would gander at the beautifully scripted and angelically poetic writings of all those who contributed to what can only be described as a "clusterfuck of wtf and stfu faggot", I laughed. I laughed at all the jokes. I, for one, was touched (inappropriately) by this now-deceased bastion of trolling goodness, and it brings a black emo tear down the side of my milk-white face. Even as I type these horrifically tragic words onto my world-famous blog that everyone reads, I am blasting Hawthorne Heights, and looking apathetically at my bleeding wrists, which I cut with a razor. It's the only way I can feel anything anymore.
From ED, I learned many things about myself. I learned that misanthropy can be hilarious. I learned that Long-Cat is really long. I learned that drawing pictures of half-snake half-human people who are part male and part female and then crying about how no one understands your artwork is nuts. I learned that by taking Computer Science III, I can shut down any website in the world whenever I want. I learned that Harry Potter and his friends are actually gothic kids who are constantly going to muggle concerts. Most importantly, I learned that reciting memes to people doesn't make you cool or funny. Only funniness is funny, and memeiness is akin to fagginess. Now, as brutal as that may sound, I want to be clear: I am not being homophobic by saying "fag". When I say "fag", I am always referring specifically to the English slang for a cigarette. So if I say, for example, "Stop being a fag", I mean "Stop being a cigarette". Confusing? Good. So be reciting memes in chatrooms/omegle, you are not being clever or funny. It is like smoking cigarettes all day, but instead of destorying* your lungs, you're destorying your SOUL.
*note: "destorying" is not a typo. Destorying refers to the act of destroying something so bad that you literally erase it from history, i.e., annihilating it's very story.
wtf
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