Saturday, July 14, 2012

Anderson Cooper: "I'm straight."


For years now, the sexual orientation of CNN's Anderson Cooper has been a topic of much discussion and controversy. Cooper did little to ease rumors that he was gay, stating, "It's not important whether I'm straight or gay. What matters is that I'm a journalist. My personal life has nothing to do with that shit."

Finally, though, Anderson Cooper came clean, stating, "To be honest, I'm straight, and I have always been straight. I thoroughly enjoy looking at women's boobs and vaginas, and also making love to the vaginas, sometimes while touching the breasts." This response left everyone quiet. Then someone spoke up and asked "Are you sure you're straight." Anderson Cooper looked down, then quietly said "Yeah... yeah, it's true. I've never thought about sliding my penis in and out of a sexy male's ass as we both sweat while making love and become one. I'm all about vaginas."

So, there you have it. Anderson Cooper is straight as the crow flies.